by Melody Sumner Carnahan
I’M TRYING TO WRITE and explain to you understand about I was married for two times and now am common law with Frank (that why I point and my finger and sign to you that later). First husband Bobby was killed from wreck airplane in May 15, 1956. I had real strong love with him. I die nearly you see we marry only 17 month and he most a boy and did so love to me. But then I meet Roy. 2th husband Roy I was married for 22 years but I was shocked and hard to believe in him. Seem. I went to work shift night. Roy foreman days and on nights went to see his friends and went to the bar and dance. He got drunk and pot and bring beautiful woman to my house and to bed for sex. He did not tell me about his girl friend for 6 month. His girl friend come to see me at my job and she ask me about Roy. I ask her what for about him. She show me that she has pregnant and I WHAT and I was real surprise because he is real good with me for 22 years. He was father good to them and love, work hard and never suffer to me and big house two garage lots of every things. We bike ride and go boat picnic happy seem and he didn’t drunk too much or mad with me but so good for 22 years. I was real get upset with her and faint and my boss and Frank help me to bring to the hospital. Frank went to see and tell Roy about I was in hospital. He found Roy home and Roy say who hell are you, Frank shift different and never had or seen but Frank tell Roy a friend and help to her you better believe and get over right now and see. And Roy come right away to see me and he ask me what happen with I cried so hard. I had to question to him about his girl friend. Roy got cried and Yes, he did love and sex with his girl friend and sex just for fun with her and he wants stay be with me. He hold me, try to kiss to me crying over and over but I said and tell to him, please leave me and alone me. I got real upset so bad. Frank try to help me a lot for called to my daddy about what happen with Roy. And my father got mad and tell Roy hell and damn and my daddy and my two daughters want me divorced to Roy and Roy had to married to his girl friend because she will has new baby in May 2nd. My daddy and my daughter want me move to California with Frank and his kins. My daddy used to Roy and like and respect for him but could not this forgive. He warn to Roy leave her be and gone. My family all want to me forget about Roy’s past in Fla. They say Frank good and true does me love not just of sex but wants to be marry me but I don’t know. Some men they like marry with deaf because she can’t hear or talk and not tell him what to do and boss and other things. Frank other wife would not kiss or sex with him she scream fight all the time he comes near and she make him pee outside. Afraid I’m still and hurt so bad of Roy. I want not have any more that and never see again. Frank love me know but don’t know if trust if I can. He has kins and I am deaf and can’t talk and they all hear. Some times Frank is talk with them and they all laugh and I say what and he say nothing go on in. He won’t stop to sign to me and I think so they laughing of me and he say no and sorry but when he want to love and sex with me then I say no mean you sign to me or not. I tell him how much I hurt of that. He has kins and I no one, daughters and my son and daddy still in Fla. If Frank bad with me I have to no one. Nice people here and friends to me but you know how I mean. I hope you can read and understand what I write about it. Please tear my note okay? Because of I don’t want to Frank find out about I tell you. He worry that I am sick with it of thinking to remind what Roy did. I get very upset and shaking can’t stop so Frank must give me pills from when in hospital and even then sometimes no help. I got in wreck plane once years and lost this fingers and hurt my inside. You see things started then but now this makes worse. Frank in worry my health. I know he does love to me. He say he want me forget Roy’s past in Fla. He wants me new my life in California.
From The Time Is Now., © 1983, 1998 Melody Sumner Carnahan / Burning Books